Run Ed Just Run
by Luna and Neko-Chan
Summary: Ok so this is complete and utter CRACK. It's hilarious though, and involves Winry throwing wrenchs. It will be a series of one shots so READ. o Sorry for the crappy summary. Oh, and this may borderline the very edge of M in some chapters, So if it does there'll be a warning.


So this is something Neko-Chan and I wrote together. I hope **_YOu EnJoY!_**

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Ch.1

The idiocy of Fan girls

Two fan girls-who may or may not have been completely sane-sat in front of a shiny laptop watching the end of FMA: Brotherhood. They where fantasying, due to Ed's height by the end, of happier times. And of course shorter Eds.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD…. Luna that was so amazing. Ed is so awesome!" ZOMG!

"YES, YESSS, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Luna let out an ear splitting fan girl squeal as a response. "…But something was wrong with Ed…..he was tall..."

"It's not cool at all! Right Luna?" Neko-Chan, a girl half fan girl-half cat looked at her curly haired friend.

"NO! I BELIEVE IN SHORT ED FOREVER!" Luna protested childishly causing both fan girls to squeal in complete unison. Little did they know it was the beginning of their demise.

-I AM JUST A LINE BREAK-

Animeverse

Ed, seething as he walked away from Mustang's office, suddenly sneezed and grew a demonic look on his face. It was almost like he had been called-_**short**_. "Hmmmmmmmm… my someone-has-called-me-short senses are tingling." He paused before making a crazed declaration. "I MUST HUNT THEM DOWN AND DESTROY THEM!" He held up his fist in determination and growled.

"Oh nii-san," Al face palmed. "Not again nii-san…" Completely disregarding Al, Ed charged off into the unknown, toward those bastards who had called him short.

Back to Fan girl World

"OMG IF I COULD JUST HUG CHIBI ED RIGHT NOW, I WOULD LIKE, SPONTANIOUSLY COMBUST AND THEN BURST INTO FLAMES! I WANNA JUST HUG THE SCREEN AND-"

Neko-Chan grabbed Luna's arm at this point and shook her back into reality. "NOOOOO LUNA STOP! FANGIRL OVERLOAD YOU'RE GONNA EXPLODE! OMFG!"

And due to a rare (ish) disease called Fangirlism both girls collapsed into a fit of squealing…

Ed chose that moment to storm into the room; sporting tic marks on his forehead, and dragged a hopelessly depressed Al behind him.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT HE COULD RIDE AN ANT LIKE A HORSE!?" Ed was reaching murderous points of madness.

"But we didn't say tha-" The starry eyed fan girls where cutoff with ease in their fear and wonder.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE COULD LIVE IN A GRAIN OF RICE?!" He growled in rage.

"But Ed-" Ed now at his breaking point, grew devil horns and began spewing fire.

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL DAMNIT! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR LEGS AND STICK THEM TO YOUR HEAD IF YOU DO! I'M NOT SHORT DANMI- "

And in came the savior of fan girls, AL TO THE RESCUE! Restraining his brother from going over board and using alchemy to kill both not-so-innocent fan girls, Al turned to them and said in his sheepish, Al-ish way.

"I'm sorry about nii-san girls, he's a bit…. vertically challenged…" Ed seethed and spat fire, though Al continued to restrain him, not letting up once…

This is when Colonel Roy Mustang decided to pop into existence. "Harassing young girls now, are we Fullmetal?" Roy smirked.

The fan girls ran and hide behind the Flame Alchemist, hiding of course from their self inflicted… problem.

"Oh Roy, please save us from the demon chibi!" They had no shame. An aura of black flames flared up around Ed.

"Now, now girls-"

"Colonel, slacking of work again? " Riza said in her usual cold demeanor, though with a new hint of murderous intent. She held up her gun, newly loaded and ready for action. Black Hayate telepathically warned Roy with his amazing doggie powers.

'ROY RUNNNNNNNNN! YOU ARE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEE!' Roy ran letting out a 'manly' scream of bloody murder. Riza began to shoot at his heals as he screamed more and ran faster.

At this display of usual stupidity that Al should definitely be used to by now, he face palmed. This act accidently released the monster that is currently Ed.

The silly fan girls knowing their doom was upon them prayed for a saving deity (aka Winry). A blue flash of lighting (I like blue ^o^) hit the ground and Winry appeared, in hand she held a glass of milk and her wrench. Or if you're Ed a glass of evil liquid secreted from a cow, and an evil weapon of torture used by one very scary female mechanic otaku. She had an evil glint in her eye that sent shivers down Ed's spine.

In a sickly sweet voice she let out her cry. "EDDDDDDD~" Then the color drained from Ed's face and he bolted. The second he got going he screamed the same scream as Mustang. Winry grinned evilly and began her hunt. Roy still screamed his 'manly' ( not really =.=) scream and the constant sound of gunshots followed it.

During all this chaos the three bystanders where standing there giving their fair share of chaos. One (Al) was cutely apologizing about everything to the two fan girls. Who in response ignored him in favor of fangirling their hearts out.

Sooooo yeah. THE END! ^o^

That's it for now R&R Pl0x!

Luna and Neko-chan out!~~3


End file.
